Much has happened in this space between then and now. I have learned a great deal about myself and others. There has been a year of heart-breaking firsts, concluding with today -- the last 1st: the 1st anniversary of this terrible loss.
I am still standing. Some days, I am a bit wobbly... Some days, in spite of all the good that remains, I am inexplicably sad. Some days, I can feel that immeasurable void that lurks just below the surface rise up and threaten to pull me in again. Yet, against the backdrop of loss, change, and other upheaval(s), I remain. I am so incredibly grateful for all of the love, friendship, comfort, and support that my family and I have received in the past year.
It seems only right and proper to acknowledge all that I am thankful to Kevin for giving me. A lifetime of gratitude for gifts that were always given so freely (more often than not, accompanied by a bright smile and the twinkling of those baby blue eyes). His departure was just shy of his 64th birthday and our 18th anniversary. While I still miss him every day, I am ever-so-thankful for the life that we shared, and all that came with it.
Here then, in no particular order, are 63 Gratitudes for My Love:
- The Love -- always the Love
- Sharing & encouraging an inquisitive nature
- Ready laugh
*and the aforementioned smile & twinkle* - Patience
- An affinity for acronyms
*EGBAR, FIDO, MFSP, BFAD and many, many more* - Your brilliant mind
- The gifts of [y]our children
- The ease and comfort of true friendship
- An appreciation for good Bourbon
- Generosity
- Acceptance of my family
*no small feat* - Taking an interest in my interests
- Unwavering support
- Endless encouragement
- The Polish Electric Blanket
- Our odd shorthand
*comprised of song lyrics, movie lines, and snippets of books we loved* - Our seamless tag-team cooking
- Wisdom
- Our home
- NOT calling Animal Control the day Wito adopted us
- Stolen moments
- Understanding
- Nearly always being the driver
- Loving me
*in spite of the mushroom years* - Tolerance
- Living with grace
- All the laughter
- The gift of "Little Friday"
- Good tools
- Loving and spoiling Wito
*and the rest of our menagerie over the years* - Forgiveness
- Positivity
*like nothing I have seen before or since* - Kindness
- Living in partnership
- Dreaming BIG
- Being my haven from Life's storms
- Adaptability
*granted, one of the hardest lessons this Type A had to learn* - Talking with and listening to me
- Manning the grill
*which hasn't been lit since the day before you died* - Teaching me to fly
- The gift of creative vision
- Security
- Time -- 20+ years (!)
- Passion
- Telling me you loved me (often)
- Being a Gentleman
- Embracing the bees
- Our shared love of reading
- Two decades of working together
- Accommodating my interests
- Speaking well/kindly of me to others (always)
- My perpetual "Bride-hood"
- A riding mower
*and years of yard-work* - The Look
- Being brave with food
*in spite of the mushroom years (!)* - Respect
- Helping me find my voice
- Making me a better person
- The most awesome "Soundtrack of a Life" (ever)
- Dancing with me
*in public as easily (if not as often) as in the kitchen* - It was quick
- You were home
- The Love -- ALL the Love
Later days,