One Month, One Week, and One Day = One Year

...since time stood still, my life *and the world as I know it* changed forever, and a new journey began.

Funny story:  Valentine's Day, for the past 20 years, has been a veritable 'movable feast' -- I never knew if it was to be a soppy, gooey, flower- bedecked, love-fest OR a "this is nothing but a capitalistic, corporate manipulation" (a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday).  Aside from keeping me on my toes, it added a certain flair to our already unconventional existence.  It was magical in its own way -- this 'not really knowing'...

Over the course of our 2 decades together, I received *in no particular order* for Valentine's Day:  kitchen ware (8 Qt. Revere Ware Stockpot + Anchor Hocking measuring cups + Revere Ware kettle); jewelry (matching "fancy-wear" Marcasite/Sterling bracelet & necklace); books, music, more than a wee bit of chocolate decadence, and/or Dinner at Home -- nothing to sneeze at, given that The Man was indeed a Grill Master, and dinner at home usually spoiled me for ordering anything out that I knew was better when we did it together (i.e. Steak, Lobster, Grilled Shrimp, Baked Potatoes *bacon-wrapped!*, BLTs, Chili, Pot Roast/Beef Stew, Fried Egg Sandwiches). 

Occasionally, there were flowers.  Sometimes, we ran away.  Virtually every year there was, at least, a card (unless it was a complete bucking of "the system" -- a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday -- year).  At the risk of sounding completely shallow, I will admit that the 1st five or six years of this unconventionality was not always received with the most grace in the 'off years.'  However, like so many other aspects of our lives together, it became yet another of "our things."  I didn't really NEED an external reminder, a dedicated holiday, or any particular reason to express (or receive the expression of) our love, because it just WAS.

These days, I live in a state of constant wonderment at the Love that just WAS.  The transformational power of having known such a Love as this continues to sustain me.  I feel as though I walk this earth under a banner that proclaims "I have been LOVED -- Greatly."  It is this knowing, this acknowledgement of something so much greater than the bits & pieces that comprised its whole, that allows me to rise each day and face the world with the absolute surety that LOVE CONQUERS ALL -- it possesses, in a way that no other force bears, the ability to change, empower, revive, uplift, and refashion all that ails us!  To quote the inimitable Patti Digh, "When in doubt, love."

So...  As I brace myself for the 1 year anniversary of my most monumental loss, I pause on this day of hearts and flowers, chocolates and declarations, to remember My True Love -- my North Star -- my complete, trans-formative, all-encompassing LOVE.  While I pause, I hold each of those dear to me nearer to my heart -- hopeful that some form of love such as that with which I have been blessed makes its way into their hearts, lives, dreams, and daily realities.

 

I am so, SO very fortunate.  Yes, I continue to carry this "blank spot" -- this space which can never be filled with anything or anyone else -- AND, I am also rich beyond measure because of all those who have circled their wagons around me to protect, nurture, and support this wounded heart of mine in the absence of The One who loved me into existence.

Onward & upward,
*with Love & Happiness to all*

 Words of Wisdom for Today:

Realizations, Revelations, and being Resolved - Part 3 of 3

There was much chatter on the interweb in the weeks leading up to the New Year about OLW (One Little Word) - or - choosing one's "action word" for year...  Initially, I thought it too much like a "Resolution" to bother with, as I gave up making resolutions many moons ago.  *self-fulfilling failures and what-not*  In my scratching about to finalize my thoughts on the return to blogging, however, the notion of having "A Word" to (a) symbolize my passage through this year, (b) serve as an alphabetic 'totem'/touchstone, or (c) represent the intention of mindfulness as I do what it is I do on this big blue ball, began to appeal to me.  This may strike some as funny, as I am not generally known for being a woman of few words.  *much less only ONE - seriously!?*  I have warmed to the idea, though.  I don't suppose it will be a big surprise that I have chosen a word, and a few of its 'companions' as my OLW.  You could think of it as a 'root' word, its variations as leafy off-shoots of its central meaning.

Light shall be my OLW; its variants (enlighten, alight, lightening, lighten, lightning, etc.), like ripples in a pond, serve as extensions of the central theme.  What has come before in this series (Realizations, Revelations) speaks of this intent, and it is my fervent wish that all that comes after will bear the fruits of its manifestation.

Being Resolved

Whereas, I   Penny Arrowood    wish to be a light, and
Whereas, it is my stated goal in the year 2013 to lighten the load of my hearth & home, and
Whereas, I fully desire to be a point of light for those I meet along the Journey, and
Whereas, it is my wish to be alight with the joy of creating, and
Whereas, I am determined to continue to learn and grow ever closer to Enlightenment,
     *even if not by leaps and bounds, but by mere millimetres* and
Whereas, it is my heart's desire keep a light in the window for those we love, and
Whereas, I am dedicated to lighting the fire of creative bliss among fellow creatives, and
Whereas, the child in me will always seek lightning bugs at dusk, and
Whereas, I seem to have run out of variations of My Word *for the moment,*
Therefore be it resolved that 2013 shall be awash in LIGHT!

Won't you join me?

Onward & Upward!
 - pla

p.s. - If you follow no other link in this post, please do take a look at the final one.  It is well worth the time, and damned near guaranteed to put a smile on your face :)  

p.p.s. - If you did follow them all, and then clicked on "final one" above, I bet you're smiling and tappin' your foot by now  ~>;-)

 

Words of wisdom for today:

"But I also say this: 

that light is an invitation to happiness, and that happiness, when it's done right,

is a kind of holiness, palpable and redemptive."

                                      - Mary Oliver

Image Notes:

   "Idea Balloon" altered image from Microsoft Office Images, style # 1147.  Image manipulation by yours truly via Paint Shop Pro X2 (filters & effects).
   "Time Flies" altered image composite, original images from The Graphics Fairy.  Image manipulation by yours truly via Paint Shop Pro X2 (filters & effects).