One Month, One Week, and One Day = One Year

...since time stood still, my life *and the world as I know it* changed forever, and a new journey began.

Funny story:  Valentine's Day, for the past 20 years, has been a veritable 'movable feast' -- I never knew if it was to be a soppy, gooey, flower- bedecked, love-fest OR a "this is nothing but a capitalistic, corporate manipulation" (a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday).  Aside from keeping me on my toes, it added a certain flair to our already unconventional existence.  It was magical in its own way -- this 'not really knowing'...

Over the course of our 2 decades together, I received *in no particular order* for Valentine's Day:  kitchen ware (8 Qt. Revere Ware Stockpot + Anchor Hocking measuring cups + Revere Ware kettle); jewelry (matching "fancy-wear" Marcasite/Sterling bracelet & necklace); books, music, more than a wee bit of chocolate decadence, and/or Dinner at Home -- nothing to sneeze at, given that The Man was indeed a Grill Master, and dinner at home usually spoiled me for ordering anything out that I knew was better when we did it together (i.e. Steak, Lobster, Grilled Shrimp, Baked Potatoes *bacon-wrapped!*, BLTs, Chili, Pot Roast/Beef Stew, Fried Egg Sandwiches). 

Occasionally, there were flowers.  Sometimes, we ran away.  Virtually every year there was, at least, a card (unless it was a complete bucking of "the system" -- a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday -- year).  At the risk of sounding completely shallow, I will admit that the 1st five or six years of this unconventionality was not always received with the most grace in the 'off years.'  However, like so many other aspects of our lives together, it became yet another of "our things."  I didn't really NEED an external reminder, a dedicated holiday, or any particular reason to express (or receive the expression of) our love, because it just WAS.

These days, I live in a state of constant wonderment at the Love that just WAS.  The transformational power of having known such a Love as this continues to sustain me.  I feel as though I walk this earth under a banner that proclaims "I have been LOVED -- Greatly."  It is this knowing, this acknowledgement of something so much greater than the bits & pieces that comprised its whole, that allows me to rise each day and face the world with the absolute surety that LOVE CONQUERS ALL -- it possesses, in a way that no other force bears, the ability to change, empower, revive, uplift, and refashion all that ails us!  To quote the inimitable Patti Digh, "When in doubt, love."

So...  As I brace myself for the 1 year anniversary of my most monumental loss, I pause on this day of hearts and flowers, chocolates and declarations, to remember My True Love -- my North Star -- my complete, trans-formative, all-encompassing LOVE.  While I pause, I hold each of those dear to me nearer to my heart -- hopeful that some form of love such as that with which I have been blessed makes its way into their hearts, lives, dreams, and daily realities.

 

I am so, SO very fortunate.  Yes, I continue to carry this "blank spot" -- this space which can never be filled with anything or anyone else -- AND, I am also rich beyond measure because of all those who have circled their wagons around me to protect, nurture, and support this wounded heart of mine in the absence of The One who loved me into existence.

Onward & upward,
*with Love & Happiness to all*

 Words of Wisdom for Today:

Just a Normal 2nd Thursday -- Until it Wasn't!

Greetings, Blog-Land!  I hope that all and sundry are well and happy, and joyfully ensconced in the merriments of the Season.  I return to you with MUCH more to share than the time to lay it all out, but this is most awesome news and needs be shared post-haste!  

Last week, I went about my business with work, and various projects, and my ongoing quest to be Christmas-ready, and preparations for the big, year-end wrap-up for the CMMAG.  As one does.  Our December meeting is always a large, fun gathering -- a mix of business and pleasure, with great food and incredible company.  As I have for the past few years, I was also readying for an afternoon with the younger set; I had planned the activity for the after school program at the Chavis Community Center prior to the meeting.  The Christmas party that we host for the after school bunch is as much fun as our own!
 

Happy, wee artists
...enjoying pizza apres creative adventures in card making

The afternoon went swimmingly!  The pizza was ready when I stopped at Sam's to pick it up.  MDP  and I pulled into the parking lot at the SAME time *cool and yet a wee bit spooky.*  We had a great group of kids and helpful hands from the Staff.  Everyone got to finish at least one (most made two) of the days project:  hand made Christmas cards featuring fingerprint wreaths.  There was plenty of food, drinks, and treats for all who attended.  Clean up went quickly and smoothly.  Happy faces all around!  

The progression to the Guild meeting was much the same.  Although, we did have a change of venue (a different meeting room) due to the freakish heat situation in the room that normally houses us.  Plenty of helpful hands for the set up and preparation for our meeting/party.  Folks filing in laden with gifts, food, arty bits to share, door prizes -- truly, just your normal *albeit, holiday time* gathering of the CMMAG.  Things got underway, recognitions given, Secret Santa gifts exchanged, door prizes enough for EVERYONE, and great food all highlighted our final meeting of the year.

A late item on the Agenda looked interesting:  Surprise  -- I had absolutely no idea what was coming.  *DUH -- that's why it was a "Surprise" -- at least part of why, anyway...*  Seriously,  in spite of being on the Board, I had no clue what this referenced.  Which is why, when our beloved Founder (Jeanne Rhea) stood to take the lectern, I sort of freaked out -- I had a moment of panic, thinking that she and her husband had sold their house and were leaving NC (this is not beyond the pale, as the plan had in fact previously existed but *mercifully and unexpectedly* changed).  *WHEW!*  That's not at ALL what happened...

She spoke with fondness to the efforts of everyone throughout the year, and her extreme pleasure in the spirit of our organization.  The thanked the Board for its ongoing efforts to improve and expand the reach of the Guild.  She then referenced an idea that had been mentioned a few times over the past couple of years:  the establishment of an award for exemplary service to the Guild.  I smiled and nodded, having proposed this notion during my service as President.  I assumed, with all of my travel this year, I had missed the discussion that brought this to being.  She spoke of dedication and generosity, willing spirit and such.  I was more excited by the moment, anticipating who would receive this newly fledged honor.  I was thinking of all of the new people who have joined, and longer standing members who have 'upped their game' in the past year, stepping into new roles and sharing more of their talents.  I was thinking about how much this group has changed, and yet is still so much the same as when I joined *has it really been 8 years ago!?*  As Michelle handed her this gorgeous piece of art glass (there really is no other way to describe it), I was giddily immersed in what a beautiful thing was happening.  ...so much so that when she turned to me, and said that that is why the Guild was presenting me with the 1st Founder's Award I was STUNNED!

I now offer my profound apologies to all who were actually there.  The most I can remember about what I said was that (a) "Oh. My. GOD." was a prominent refrain, and (b) I seemed unable to say "...but not for me" over and over.  I did manage to finally produce a sodden 'thank you', but cannot imagine  that it made much sense...  As noted (with a bit of consternation by friends), my FB status was no more illuminating  than "Mind BLOWN!" for a few days...

I am humbled by this honor.  I am deeply appreciative of the words inscribed upon this award:  "In appreciation of her dedication, hard work, innovations, and continuous service to the Carolina Mixed Media Art Guild..."  My thanks to members past, present, and future for their being a part of this amazing organization.  I have said on more than one occasion that my membership in this guild is unlike anything I have ever experienced.  Its value to me is beyond measure.  I have made some of the most incredible friendships of my life in the past eight years.  I have learned new things, experienced amazing oppurtunities, and grown as both an artist and a person as result of my time in this Tribe.   Thank you to the members and the Board (with whom it is my immense pleasure to work).  Thank you to my husband (a veritable fount of patience in all things Guild-y).  Thank you.  

Onward & Upward,

Words of wisdom for today:

"One must from time to time
attempt things that are beyond one's capacity."

                                    - Auguste Renoir

Photo Notes:

   Happy & wee  - taken with Panasonic LUMIX DMC-ZS1
   Award  - taken with Samsung Galaxy S4, standard camera app

   all photos color adjusted and cropped in IrfanView

Gobsmacked by Love

Greetings, Blogland!  How's tricks?

Things in HoCo have been hoppin'!  ...and through the simple forgetfulness of yours truly, today ended up being a 'blogging day!'  Yes, I knew it was President's Day.  But, here in NC, it is no longer a State holiday.  It is still a Federal holiday, so the bank and P.O. were C-L-O-S-E-D :-\  *I found this out, while being the productive little elf that I am, and heading out to take care of some 'bidness' today -- only to discover that those with whom I needed to interact were all away*  Ahhh...  an unexpected pocket o' time!  Perfect for getting back in the swing of things, here, eh?

I think so, too!

I mentioned, back in January, that some pretty sizable changes were taking place in my little corner.  While the ramifications of those changes are still being discovered (and explored, and reveled in, etc., etc.), the biggest thing *in the moment* was the capital-A-Amazing gift/tribute that I received that night!  ...and while much blog-worthy 'stuff' has happened in the time between that night and today, I just couldn't move onto all of that until I found a way to get my mind wrapped around the powerful beauty of this:

The Book

Way back in October, totally unbeknownst to me, the fabulous MDP *my intrepid co-leader of the CMMAG* contacted the membership of the Guild to invite them to take part in a special project -- a book for ME (!?)  She supplied them with a list of some of my favorite things ("bees, bookmaking, good wine, great friends, monkeys, chickens, Joseph Cornell assemblages, pirates, daisies, metal, good novels, ECU, and an abiding love of all things CMMAG"), and what happened next was pure MAGIC!  Right under my nose *literally -- in the midst of our Year End Wrap Up/Christmas Party in December,* her little helpers collected the works of my fellow guild-mates.  In January, as I stepped down after two terms (4 years) as President, they presented me with The Book.  

Overflowing with memories, thanks, and amazing artwork!

Well, first there was a very moving 'speech' *a la Open Letter* from our esteemed Founder, the incredible JR.  As she read her most generous thoughts to the assembled group, MDP sidles up alongside me with a box of tissues *they know me too well!* -- and it wasn't long until I needed them!  ...and before she got to the end of her letter, JR needed them too (!)  There was applause and hugging (and sniffling, and laughing); I thanked everyone for their input/support -- I have said for years that without them all of those good ideas meant nothing -- it really does 'take a village!'  Then I resumed my seat, figuring we would get on with the rest of the meeting.  "But wait," exclaimed MDP, our newly elected President "there's more!"  No kidding, I said "Oh, Lord!" while reaching for a fresh tissue!  In spite of having put together just such a 'secret project' only two years ago for JR (commemorating the 10th anniversary of the CMMAG), I was blown away at them having done so for me!

Powerful Words

Here was this gorgeous tome -- full of shared memories, notes of thanks, amazing artwork, and chock full o' sweetness!  ...for ME (!)  Even trying to tell you now, gentle reader, how overwhelming it was brings tears to my eyes.  I am not down playing the work, time, and effort that I put forth during the course of my tenure as President; I'll tell you -- there were times I nearly pulled my hair out!?  But, seriously, I approached this like I do any other commitment:  with every intention of doing the best job I am capable of doing.  Were there things I could have done better?  Probably...  The love and appreciation housed within this treasure trove more than make up for the times when I wondered "What was I thinking?"

My membership in this group has been much like getting a ticket to a foreign land!  Every month, we come together to learn, share, and grow as artists and crafts-people -- nurturing one another and the community that supports and sustains us.  I have never experienced anything like it before!  I have made some of the most incredible friends, had some wicked good times, and learned many things about myself in the process.  I guess the most mind-boggling part of their recognition is that I already felt 'compensated' for my efforts -- by our successes, our ongoing growth, and our strengthening bonds within (and beyond) our circle.  Just after the first of the year, I acknowledged that I am sometimes haunted by old voices and the messages that they deliver.  I now have the ultimate remedy for those blue days!  The Book is capable of chasing away any negativity seeking residence!  It occupies pride of place in my living room, and is enjoyed regularly.  I am sure that there are little secrets I have not yet discovered -- I'll find them all, no worries ;-)

As much as I would like to share ALL of it with you, I am highlighting just a bit of the wonderment contained within The Book.  *...a girl can't share everything!* 

My Ode - a la MDP
*You must tell me!  Has anyone ever written you a song?*

A Crossword Puzzle from JR
*The Man and I marveled mightily over this, the night The Book came home!*

Another pleasant *yet no less amazing* surprise:  they're still coming!?  At last weeks meeting, I received more pages and sweet thoughts -- I look forward to enjoying them as they arrive, and for many years to come!

Still coming in!

Oddly enough *and in the serendipitous way that such things happen* I stumbled across the perfect sentiment, just today -- to sum up my speechlessness over this amazing gift:

A Simple Truth

That, my friends, says all that I cannot!  *yeah, yeah; I know that there are some who think I am never at a loss for words.  Just goes to show ya'!* This simple thought is the best summary of why I love this Guild -- just as they are all of this to me, they are all of this for everyone who signs on to be a part of our community.  I suppose it is merely human nature to have doubt(s)...  

What a splendid gift to have such a 'crew!'  With all of my heart, I thank the members of the CMMAG (past and present)!  Thank you for your generous spirits, your 'can do' attitudes, your willingness to try new things *and be wildly amazing*, your beautiful support of one another (and me), and your belief in the power of Community.  I look forward to seeing what lies ahead for us -- and if the first two months of this year are any indication, we ain't seen nothin' yet!


Onward & Upward!
 - pla

p.s. -- fast forward to last week:  The Man surprised me in a major way!  A dozen roses and bottle of very nice Malbec for Valentine's Day :-o  ...as I have humbly said before:  Lucky am I!

Words of wisdom for today:

"Everybody needs his memories.

They keep the wolf of insignificance

from the door."

                                      - Saul Bellow

Photo Notes:

   All photos with Nikon D5100 - using AF-S Nikor 55-200 lens (cropping and out of camera adjustments using IrfanView)
   "A Simple Truth" came my way via Facebook - the quote was not attributed.

*All photos can be seen in a larger size by clicking on them*