5

In many ways, it's hard to believe that you left us 5 years ago today.  Today is the 1st time this anniversary has fallen on the actual day -- that has made it harder, somehow...

I will never stop missing you -- nor will I ever cease to be grateful.  I am so very thankful for all that we had, for what and who you allowed me to be, and for all of the memories that we made.

I encountered this quotation this week.  I can think of no better words to mark this day:

“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.”

― L.R. Knost

I remain amazed that love found us and sheltered us for the many years we had together.  I am likewise amazed that love has found me again.  I carry you with me today and every day ❤

Onward and upward!

How YOU Doin'?

Hey!  Hi-ho! Hellooo!

So...  It's been a little while since I joined you here in Blog-Land (?)  SO much has happened in the intervening months (!)  It would appear that any sharing that took place during my absence here was done on Facebook -- and there wasn't that much shared or posted there, either!  

After the hustle of May, I opted to turn my focus toward getting a better handle on the homestead, and being more conscious of my health.  The Summer found me wandering the wilds with Ollie as often as possible, and spending more time moving than in the past couple of years.  I made a vow on my 49th birthday to pursue walking more diligently, and committed to at least one organized 5K a month.  To date, I have walked over 150 miles since mid-April and have completed twelve 5Ks *so far;* I've begun stretching my walks to prepare for 10Ks, from here on out.  The ultimate goal?  I want to embrace the big 5-0 by walking my 1st Half Marathon in the Spring (!)  

Let's take a pictorial look back as we catch up a bit, eh?

Scenes from a boat...
Time spent with
Ollie is never wasted!

Water flora

Water flora (pt. deux)

Just a couple of my "lake buddies"...
..and if that isn't a capital A in the clouds, I'll kiss your foot!

That, plus working was about all there was to June -- July entered and proceeded in much the same way, with a few notable differences:  on the momentous date of 7-17-17, I gave up smoking (!) -- long overdue, and far from easy -- so far, so good; I finally returned to creative work (!!!) -- it felt amazing to MAKE things again (things that had been rolling around in my noggin at night for far too long) -- and I am giddy to report that more is coming (both in this series, and outside of it)!

A new series of work (The Dream Keepers) -- begun in late June,
and the first piece hung in a show in July

Good friends, good food, and good memories:
The best things for what ails ya!
*...and "good bye" to the butts*

August brought the return to travel teaching and a 2nd engagement with The International Paper Doll Convention.  It was wonderful see so many familiar faces, and meet new ones.  I taught a packed workshop, and enjoyed participating in various aspects of "The Swinging 60s" inspired event.  A quick stop to see other pals (and make a new feline friend) on the way home, and then the much anticipated eclipse *which I celebrated by taking part in a Virtual 5K, replete with "Eclipse of the Sun 2017" medal!*  The month wrapped up with another momentous occasion:  The Girl graduated with her Master's Degree in Korean Studies from Korea University (a degree earned with straight As, I might add!).

August moments from August

More natural wonderments with Ollie,
visits with my sweet ones, and a crash course
in DIY home repairs rounded out August of '17

September found me hitting the road again, this time for The Rock n' Roll Marathon Series 5K in Virginia Beach.  The event takes place alongside the American Music Festival over the course of Labor Day Weekend.  My new walking buddy (and long time BFF) and I went all out, and got the 3-Day Pass for the Music Festival -- and the tales we can tell from that weekend would warrant a whole SERIES of blog posts -- it was QUITE memorable, to say the least!  ...and, in truth, it felt amazing to be making new laugh-until-your-cheeks-hurt memories.

Road trip:  VA Beach, here we come!
Medals, fireworks, odd street signs, amazing sushi,
and a visit from a lady bug

The Chihuly at the Museum of Contemporary Art was incredible
The full moon over the ocean on our last night was an added bonus

From just before the middle of September to the present, my attention has been split between getting serious yard work done here on the Acre, and establishing a new business in partnership with a dear and admired fellow artist.  *much more to come on the details of that venture -- I promise!*  October brought the opportunity for some hard-core adulting; you can bet your bippy that it was accompanied by some rather colorful language -- HA!  *kidding not kidding*  Suffice to say:  I now know a great deal more about the workings of homeowners insurance than I can ever imagine needing to have learned (?)  ANYway...  Live and learn, right?  I just keep on learnin'!

Stolen moments in October:  New frontiers (aka lakes) with Ollie,
realizing how old Ms Wito is getting,
and testing my new motto in wearable form

Pieces of November -- so far
A stem full of wishes, the bucket brigade headed for storage,
and laughter really is the best medicine

Which brings us to today!  Just last weekend marked the 10th anniversary of the CMMAG's role as Workshop Fairies at Art of the Carolinas, in addition to my role as Co-Chair of the Committee that organizes our efforts there.  The yard work of October revisited me in the form of tendinitis, and for the 1st time in 10 years, I moved no water on Saturday or Sunday of that fabled weekend.  Perhaps it is time for a changing of the guard?  Other developments of the weekend might hold sway over that decision...  More to come, as details emerge, gentle reader!  Intrigued?  Me, TOO!  I promise to spill the beans as soon as I have them all in one pot!

As always:  
Onward & upward!

Words of wisdom for today:

A healthy human environment is one in which we
try to make sense of our limits, of the accidents
that can always befall us, and the passage of time
which inexorably changes us.
                           ~ Rowan Williams

49

Forty two years ago, I received a book for my birthday:  Now You Are Seven.  I still have it *no one who knows me can even pretend to be surprised by this* (!)  It is a lovely anthology of pieces selected for the young reader -- a mixture of cultural folklore, short fiction, arts & crafts projects, and poetry accompanied by vivid illustrations.  To this day, I can (and do) fondly recall a line from a poem about Bert (an amorous kangaroo, in a zoo, in love with Betsy Lou, who happened to be a kangaroo too):  "So they lived in one cage/till a very old age/and died at ninety two."  Why this is the line that has managed to stay with me for 42 years, I cannot say (especially since this book was also my introduction to Tennyson & Longfellow) -- but, there you have it. 

TA-DA!
Home of Bert and Betsy Lou

Recently, I mentioned this book to my mom (the giver of this formational tome) -- wondering aloud if it were part of a series.  She did not recall seeing any for other ages at the time. I have never seen another of this particular book, or any others like it.  But it got me to thinking:  Why not?  Wouldn't it be neat if there were an ongoing series of books designed to provide insight/comfort/encouragement as we cross the threshold into each new year and all that it holds? 

SO...  As a lover and collector of words that speak to me, I have merged words with images to create a collection to mark the occasion of turning 49.  Actually, it may be more accurate to say that these are verbal talismans to carry into my 50th year.  Thoughts, inspirations, and reminders to carry with me on the Journey.  This was a great deal of fun, although I must admit:  it took way longer to do than I imagined (!)  Reminding me, yet again, of my mother's supreme wisdom:  "It always takes longer than you think!"  

Rope bridge photo*
Paper Factory Hotel, Long Island City, NY

Book tower and cash register detail
Paper Factory Hotel, Long Island City, NY

Suitcases and cash register detail
Paper Factory Hotel, Long Island City, NY

Bedroom window - Paper Factory Hotel, Long Island City, NY
Zodiac Mosaic - Subway Station, NYC

Stairwell window and painted man
Paper Factory Hotel, Long Island City, NY

I have never been one to worry and fret over birthdays...  I see much truth in the old saw:  "Age is just a number."  Twenty + years spent in the company of an incredible human who lived large by this adage only served to galvanize that truth, for me.  I understand the 'why' behind certain ages being of some significance:  16 and driving; 18 and voting; 21 and drinking; etc., etc...  I suppose I understand marking the milestones of entering a new decade, too (?)  Having said all of that, I have a tendency to celebrate the odd; for example, prior to our marriage, I threw The Man a surprise party for his 45th *hey, any excuse for a good party - right?*  But I have never approached a birthday with any sense of dread.  I have several friends who bemoan the pending birthday, and it always leaves me scratching my head...  Another birthday?  WINNING!  I mean aging isn't always pretty, but it beats the hell out of the alternative!

Memorial Tree - Arlington Cemetery

I must acknowledge that I have entered my latest year from an entirely new angle.  After two years that contained profound personal and professional losses, I finally feel like I have reclaimed some sort of equilibrium.  I am eternally grateful for the folks who stuck it out with me, and remain a part of my life.  In truth, there are still dark, difficult days -- but these are no longer the bulk of the days...  I feel stronger in mind, body, and spirit than I have in quite some time.  I am thrilled to have a renewed sense of discovery and optimism!  

Be prepared, gentle reader!  I will be exercising #50for50 well and often in the coming year!  I look forward to having loads of fun, and I hope you will join me!

The Brother in Little Italy, NYC

Onward & upward!

Since todays post is loaded with Words of Wisdom, I am leaving you with a song. *nay, an anthem!*  I first fell in love with this tune when I discovered the album Planet Waves in my teens.  In the intervening years, I have heard covers from a variety of artists:  Johnny Cash, Jerry Garcia Band,  The Pretenders, and Pearl Jam.  The version that I am sharing here is *hands down* my favorite, after the original.  The Soweto Gospel Choir brings a power to this song that I have not felt in other renditions -- it gives me chills every time!  It is offered here as both a wish and a blessing!  

*Rope Bridge Photo -- This is actually a photo of a photo -- I would gladly credit the original photographer, had there been a sign (?)  This print was HUGE -- I encountered it turning a corner on the floor below where I was staying, and was awestruck.  It felt like you could just keep walking and go right on over that bridge (!)

Seconds

often hard as firsts

equally jarring -- now we

proceed into thirds

'don't need reminding

that i feel out of place in

our home -- my own skin

so different now

the passage of time without

your voice...  eyes...  laughter...

there have been hard times

yet there are the better days

each bears its own gifts

i am still standing

obviously worse for wear

a little less shine

at last, reading more

it has shaken loose the words

nestled in my bones

missing you always

not just on the hardest days

good ones most of all

spring has come again

i will grow -- thrive -- with your last

words:  "I love you, too."

 

Onward & Upward,

"Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak.
I've read, that things inanimate have mov'd,
And, as with living Souls, have been inform'd,
By Magick Numbers and persuasive Sound.
...
Anselmo sleeps, and is at Peace; last Night
The silent Tomb receiv'd the good Old King;
He and his Sorrows now are safely lodg'd
Within its cold, but hospitable Bosom.

..."

- William Congreve, The Mourning Bride

One Month, One Week, and One Day = One Year

...since time stood still, my life *and the world as I know it* changed forever, and a new journey began.

Funny story:  Valentine's Day, for the past 20 years, has been a veritable 'movable feast' -- I never knew if it was to be a soppy, gooey, flower- bedecked, love-fest OR a "this is nothing but a capitalistic, corporate manipulation" (a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday).  Aside from keeping me on my toes, it added a certain flair to our already unconventional existence.  It was magical in its own way -- this 'not really knowing'...

Over the course of our 2 decades together, I received *in no particular order* for Valentine's Day:  kitchen ware (8 Qt. Revere Ware Stockpot + Anchor Hocking measuring cups + Revere Ware kettle); jewelry (matching "fancy-wear" Marcasite/Sterling bracelet & necklace); books, music, more than a wee bit of chocolate decadence, and/or Dinner at Home -- nothing to sneeze at, given that The Man was indeed a Grill Master, and dinner at home usually spoiled me for ordering anything out that I knew was better when we did it together (i.e. Steak, Lobster, Grilled Shrimp, Baked Potatoes *bacon-wrapped!*, BLTs, Chili, Pot Roast/Beef Stew, Fried Egg Sandwiches). 

Occasionally, there were flowers.  Sometimes, we ran away.  Virtually every year there was, at least, a card (unless it was a complete bucking of "the system" -- a.k.a. BULLSH!T holiday -- year).  At the risk of sounding completely shallow, I will admit that the 1st five or six years of this unconventionality was not always received with the most grace in the 'off years.'  However, like so many other aspects of our lives together, it became yet another of "our things."  I didn't really NEED an external reminder, a dedicated holiday, or any particular reason to express (or receive the expression of) our love, because it just WAS.

These days, I live in a state of constant wonderment at the Love that just WAS.  The transformational power of having known such a Love as this continues to sustain me.  I feel as though I walk this earth under a banner that proclaims "I have been LOVED -- Greatly."  It is this knowing, this acknowledgement of something so much greater than the bits & pieces that comprised its whole, that allows me to rise each day and face the world with the absolute surety that LOVE CONQUERS ALL -- it possesses, in a way that no other force bears, the ability to change, empower, revive, uplift, and refashion all that ails us!  To quote the inimitable Patti Digh, "When in doubt, love."

So...  As I brace myself for the 1 year anniversary of my most monumental loss, I pause on this day of hearts and flowers, chocolates and declarations, to remember My True Love -- my North Star -- my complete, trans-formative, all-encompassing LOVE.  While I pause, I hold each of those dear to me nearer to my heart -- hopeful that some form of love such as that with which I have been blessed makes its way into their hearts, lives, dreams, and daily realities.

 

I am so, SO very fortunate.  Yes, I continue to carry this "blank spot" -- this space which can never be filled with anything or anyone else -- AND, I am also rich beyond measure because of all those who have circled their wagons around me to protect, nurture, and support this wounded heart of mine in the absence of The One who loved me into existence.

Onward & upward,
*with Love & Happiness to all*

 Words of Wisdom for Today:

My Wild, Wacky, Wonderful Winter (so far...)

We're not known for particularly harsh winter weather, here in eastern NC.  Mother Nature has decided to pull out all the stops this year, apparently!  A mere three weeks ago, we wandered the waterfront in Hilton Head, SC in nothing more than shirt sleeves!  We had the chance to visit with dear friends we hardly ever see, and reveled in the beautiful weather for our visit.  It was great fun, and as is always the case when spending time with those we love:  not nearly long enough.  'Already looking forward to next time!

A Weekend in Hilton Head, SC
...and a good time was had by all!

All in a Days Work
photo transfer on canvas panel w/ brass hardware

Also at the end of January, I had a piece of new work go to a new home as part of the "Ocracoke Through Your Eyes" Art Auction to benefit our friends at The Ocracoke Preservation Society Museum on Ocracoke Island, here in NC.  I was thrilled to take part as a donating artist, this year; I have high hopes of doing the same again and being there for the event, next year!  My fellow ReMe partners and a handful of other local artist buddies donated work for the event which was proclaimed a rousing success by end the of the evening.  When you are next in the area, please do stop by the OPS Museum for a visit!  They do a wonderful job and preserving and sharing the rich and varied history of Ocracoke.

Productive Tranquility
...the view from the "corner office"

Jean, Jodi, and I managed to nail down a full weekend *minus a wee afternoon of antique/thrift/hardware romping* to do some long-range planning for ReMe Retreats.  This made for a lovely change of pace, as we normally fit this in amongst all of our other responsibilities -- it was ever-so-lovely to have more than a few hours to hammer out some of our ideas, set new goals, and plan even more REmarkable wonders for those attending our events -- and there will be wonders!  Many thanks to our dearest Mary N. (of Mary's Funky Fish) for the lakeside hospitality!  *cough...  CAW!* 

The Long View
...2015 - a work in perpetual progress

*WHAM!*  Then wee, li'l February was fully upon us -- and good googley-moogley, has it boogied on by?!  I had envisioned this month as the proverbial "calm before the storm" -- socked in at the homestead for all manner of preparatory, top-secret, behind-the-scenes goodness taking place prior to the arrival of what promises to be a very merry spring, indeed...  Weeelllllll -- not so much (?)  Don't get me wrong:  things are happening!  ...just not the epic quantity of things that I had feverishly imagined would happen during that idyllic week between Christmas and New Year's when the allure of a vast new year and a shockingly blank calendar were before me! 
*shocker, that -- right!?  weeellll -- not so much!  HA*

A Jaunty Visitor
Winter Storm #1 - February 17, 2015

ANYway...  weather has been a factor, as has a bizarre stomach malady *but I'll spare you that particular [non]delight!*  I suppose, if one isn't paying close enough attention, time does fly indeed!  Hard to believe as we look out on the fluffy blanket of snow that accumulated during the day today that just last week the view was of a different sparkle altogether!  Yeppers -- ICE *ice, baby!*  
It makes for lovely photos, but it also makes for treacherous stairs.  I have discovered in a rather uncomfortable manner that it is also dangerous to be out and about during the thaw!  Trust me when I tell you that large, slushy gobs of ice pack a wallop when they are descending rapidly from the tall, tall pines that surround our driveway.  #liveandlearn

 

Today's view, as captured by
my own Sky King.  Enjoy!

 
Onward & Upward,

Words of Wisdom for Today:

Words ought to be a little wild
for they are the assaults of thought
on the unthinking.
                         - John Maynard Keynes